"Don't get too big"

We have all heard someone say “I’d never want to look like that” and in reference to that exact statement I can honestly say, don’t you worry, you never will.

I think we miss a certain something when looking at others and judging them on their physical appearance, we never ask how they feel in their own skin. You hear, “oh she’s too thin, he’s too big, too much muscle”, but I never hear many people say I wonder how they feel, how are they feeling inside about their appearance, does it give them confidence? Does it make them happy? Yes, there are the extremes that are unhealthy for the body on both sides of this scale, if someone is obese it is unhealthy, if someone is too thin it is also unhealthy, but what can we do to help?

If we start asking how someone feels before saying “don’t get too skinny” or “don’t get too big” we will have a better understanding of what that person truly wants for themselves, because that is what truly matters, how they feel, not your objective view of them. If it comes to a certain goal they have in mind; maybe an ideal weight, or how they view themselves in the mirror, either way, it should be for them to choose how they feel about their current situation and not be told or judged on what to do by those around them on a daily basis, especially if those views expressed will do nothing but hurt the feelings of those individuals.

Why are we so critical and judge those going through transformations? Is it because we lack understanding? Or we just don’t want someone to become better because of our own jealousy of them achieving something that we are possibly too lazy to do ourselves? I think we miss a lot of the good things in this world because of jealousy or assumptions. I often hear, “well if I had the time I could look like that too”. I must stop and laugh when I hear this because well, if it was only about the time someone had, we would all be our best selves everyday. Time is the exact same for every individual every single day, there are twenty-four hours for everyone, it’s how we choose to live them, that’s what makes all the difference. I have seen some people who waste so much time talking about what they would do if they had more time instead of using that exact time to better themselves, in one way or another, there is always time. So don’t use that as an excuse to be jealous of how someone who is just more efficient with how they use their time.

There is a difference between efficiency and time available. A twenty-year-old who has no children and a part time job who lives at home with mom and dad, obviously has more time available to them than a mother of 3 in her thirties who works a full-time job. Now I am not going to make an excuse for anyone to not have the time to be in shape and eat well for their goals, but clearly one of these two groups have more time available to them on a personal level. How the mother of 3 uses her time, I’m sure is going to be much more structured and planned out just out of necessity, and it will have to be to get through everything that today’s world is throwing at us. We live in a busy world, bottom line, and it’s how we find the time available that will always make the difference.

I think it is largely how we prioritise our time that people don’t understand. Some activities we enjoy doing like going to the gym. For some, this is a serious hobby within the gym. When you consider bodybuilders or powerlifters, cross-fitters, strongman competitors, and tri-athletes going to the gym is much more than just an activity, it is a major part of their life. Some cannot begin to understand, because they are going to the gym with different goals, that are not within those specific sports. This is where people should be supportive, regardless of the goals of others in the gym. Whether you want to look that way or not, it shouldn’t matter in the least because it isn’t your body or your goals.

We need to focus on ourselves and not what others are doing, and we have to accept the fact that unless we are willing to make major sacrifices, we likely won’t look like our favourite fitness idol, because those fitness idols all make major sacrifices to attain a certain look or characteristic in their physique.

Now I want to close off by saying, I would love to live in a world where we asked, “I wonder how they feel” instead of hearing “I hope they don’t get too muscular” once we actually care more about someone’s feelings instead of their physical appearance, we will be living in a happier world where we can all applaud people’s achievements and cut out the jealousy. A world where we can focus more on our own goals and achievements and not be so concerned about what someone else is doing or what someone else looks like. Love what you’re doing, and don’t worry about others, unless it’s to show them support.